Fefferoo

I missed our school’s talent show. I wanted to tell stories as my talent. Here’s the routine I never got to perform.

My name is Ali G. Some people call me Alig because that’s how it reads in my email address. This is the first year at Liberty Elementary. I’m in 3rd grade. I started school with 24 pencils and 5 erasers. Now I’m negative 52 pencils. We didn’t learn negative numbers yet. So there must be a pencil monster in the ceiling.

Another interesting thing is how to cope with bullies. Now Liberty will tell you there are no bullies at school because there’s a “no bully policy”. But there are different ways bullying happens.
Overt bullying – Gimme your lunch money or else!
and the “Are you bullying me or are you just plain mean because everyone is always yelling at you”.
Here’s the story. You decide. I get up from my chair to throw a tissue in the garbage. The bullyl takes my seat – which I know will happen. When I go back to the chair and tell her I was sitting there. She says “too bad”. I’m not sure I should tell her that because I knew she was going to take my seat so  I farted in it before I got up. I just smile at her and take a clean seat.

Do you know what teachers talk about to each other? You would think it would be sharing new ideas about keeping a class interested. Nah – It’s about the merits of permanent eyeliner. REALLY?

In school the teachers treat us like dogs. They say “good girl” “good boy” when you do something they approve us. Or they say “here’s a ticket” just like here’s a treat. I don’t even know what a ticket is.